I can't even believe I made it through, but after having a cold and the flu at the same time (and conveniently being visited my Mother Nature ON TOP OF ALL THAT), I'm starting to feel like myself again.
Of course, I lost 5 pounds having the flu. And, of course, I've probably gained it back already. I'm also super bloated and generally feeling low on energy so working out hasn't even been an option, though I have definitely had the urge.
Getting sick is no fun and I realized this past week that the holidays can really derail you. I slipped into my old bad habit on thanksgiving, eating cheeses, dips, pretzels, breads, sweets, and whatever else was put in front of me. Aside from actually being ill, that alone made me sick to my stomach. I realized I didn't really want all that crap, I was just eating it to eat it! My body feels good when I put good in. Seems simple, huh?! So now that I've learned my holiday lesson and looked at some pictures of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, I am way ready to get back on track.
But wait... That would be too easy.
The cherry on top of this past week was today at a visit to the doctor. When I thought I'd been through the worst of it and was ready to come out the other side and get grinding in the gym, I got some of the more unhappy news I've ever heard in my life.
This morning I was diagnosed with a type of muscular dystrophy. Before I freaked out, my doctor was clear to explain this isn't like the kind you always hear about and I wouldn't be losing any of my abilities to function or become debilitated in any major way. What it really means is that the shoulder problem I've been battling and struggling for two years now finally has a name. For the most part, I'm okay with this diagnosis because I know I can go to physical therapy and work against it long term.
However, part of me really, really isn't okay with this. It doesn't seem fair to me that my body could be rejecting itself. My own body is holding itself back from being as healthy as it possibly could be. I've been up against such a roadblock in trying to get fit with this injury and now it just seems like the road has washed out and there's not much hope left. I want to keep working hard and getting stronger, but I wish my body would help not hinder!! I am trying to stay as positive as possible. There will be hard days and easy days, and I think I've just been thrown a whole bunch of bad ones. All I can plan for is that better days are coming and that I will eventually meet my goal of feeling bad ass in a bikini.
Good things come to those who work, and work takes time. Here's to patience and perseverance. I WILL feel proud of myself come week 10!
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