It's been one week since I...

Okay so I'm one week in. 

My go to move (impatience) kicked in about 15 minutes ago and I had to knock some serious sense into myself. It's been ONE week. I can't be mad that I'm not seeing progress yet! I feel so frustrated when I don't see results and that leads me to put myself down and eventually to quit. 

But, I'm not quitting this time. I've got 9 more weeks to go and I will not give up! 

On a side note, my eating choices were really poor this weekend. Pizza and beer and Chinese food, things I never eat! I learned from my mistakes though and, since my body didn't feel good after, I won't put myself through that again. 

I can't wait for the holiday season and going home. I'm going to be able to take my health into my own hands and start cooking wholesome, healthy, locally sourced meals again! Also, I'll be able to be in the gym every day. Viva la power of choice.

Self love. Self love. Self love.

Oh, and keep getting shit done.

Puttin' In Work

I'm posting about workouts because I just had an awesome one.

I was feeling down on myself and wasn't liking what I was seeing in the mirror. SO (even though it's pouring rain) I stopped looking and marched myself over to the gym. I got on the stationary bike for an awesome, totally sweaty workout and followed it up with some balance and core work. 

I don't know if my playlist was just on point or if all the endorphins really were kicking in; but, either way, I was stoked on my workout today and feel like I have renewed my motivation and commitment to being in the gym. 

I think that when you're struggling to love yourself, you need to find a place where you feel strong and confident and keep going back to that place (mental or physical) until that feeling of pride and badassness seeps through every part of your day. Putting in work at the gym makes me feel strong and empowered, and it gives me the privilege of liking who I see in the mirror. So, if I momentarily lose sight of my bikini body goals (no shame), I'll be reminding myself of this feeling!

It probably helped that I had homemade tacos waiting for me when I got home, too. :)

 

Sugar sugar, aw honey honey...

Anything and everything with sugar in it is my vice. I love sweets in the morning  (croissants, muffins, pastries, donuts). I love sweets in the middle of the day (those cute little mini kit kats and yummy iced teas). But, I especially love sweets at night.

It's like the bewitching hour. Once the clock strikes whatever it strikes, I will eat any and everything in my way. All willpower is lost and I literally turn back into a pumpkin.

For example, today I didn't eat a proper dinner so I ended up eating a bunch of chocolate. Like always, I felt like shit afterwards. In reflecting on my gluttony, I tried to justify my sugar intake. I started by blaming grains and deciding I would cut them out of my diet first. Then I thought maybe I wasn't eating enough vegetables and too much fruit; so, I would start there.

But wait... Am I really solving anything by pushing the problem around?

The answer is hell no. I'm just avoiding the hard stuff, the inevitable! So, I'm going to do exactly what I don't want to. I'm going to grab this thing by the horns and cut out food products with added sugars over the next three days. 

If I can make it three days, I can keep going. And, if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it three days.

Here's to facing my biggest challenges head on, I will not let sugar run my life.

It All Starts Somewhere...

Here We Go.

I've disliked my body for over three years now. THREE years. Over 1,095 days. 
If you ask me, that's too long.

I do love my body. I have been blessed with two legs that work, good health, a strong, tall frame, and a smart head on my shoulders. In fact, I am an athlete, a high performing athlete. I am simply ready to be stronger and leaner and meaner than ever before. 

I am not looking to un-hate myself. I don't hate myself! What I am looking for is what I'll call Body Pride. I want to feel my body working at its top potential, see my body as fit and lean, and use my body to do great, amazing, incredible, gold medal-worthy things! 

So, here we go. 

I've set a goal to work my ass off (literally) for 10 weeks. I want to be a lean, mean, bikini ready, healthy, positive, radiant, fighting machine by the end of these three weeks. So, I am changing my workouts, my food intake, my booze intake, and my attitude. 

I know it will be hard, epsecially to stay far, far away from sweets, but I am ready now more than ever, and this blog is going to keep me on track. Read if you want, or don't. Either way, I am going to post my 10 week journey to Body Pride, a better me. 

It's time to start living.